The Promise 2

promise

I wore my clothes and went outside to his car. I was mad but happy at the same time. It was a weird combination and it made me more feeling like having to throw up. My stomach was playing with me again. It’s such a weird feeling when you love and hate someone at the same time. Just imagine the pain you would have when someone you didn’t have seen for 10 years suddenly comes back like nothing ever happened. It’s selfish.
When Saad saw me, he came out of his black BMW and hugged me. Of course I liked it but I had to act like I didn’t. So I pushed him away. “Okay sorry. I won’t touch you again” he had his famous grin on his face. “Yeah yesterday you said the same thing and now you’re here again. I’ll ask you just one time ! Why are you here ?” I tried to sound like I was mad but honestly I wasn’t. I don’t know why. And I’m still figuring out why.
“Do you have something to eat. I’m hungry” that was typical for him. When ever something got serious he tried to distract me. And of course like always it worked.
I rolled my eyes and said “Yeah I have”.
We went to my apartment and I made him an omelet. He was eating and I just watched him. When I was looking at him I still saw the 18 years old shy guy I’ve met at High School. It was year 2004 when I started with High School. I was just 16 and a freshman, he was 18 and a senior. And I remember it like yesterday when I first talked to him. I was late for my math class because I couldn’t find it. I was running and saw Saad in the hallway. A tall guy with black hair and brown eyes. Even though he was just 18 he looked older because of his beard. I wanted to ask him where I can find Mr Smith’s class but I was afraid that he was like the other seniors. When ever I asked them something they gave me a sarcastic answer. But I was late and didn’t have another choice, so I went to him and asked “Eh.. hey do you know where I can find Mr. Smith?”. He looked at me and didn’t say anything. I rolled my eyes and said “Oh great just because you’re a senior doesn’t mean you don’t have to answer when someone asks you something” I got mad and went away.
Later when I was at the library to study Saad came and sat in front of me. I looked at him and asked “Do you need something?”. He didn’t reply. And again I asked him “Do you need something? Or do you just want to sit here and stare at me?”.
He looked at me and said quietly
“Ehmm… No… Ehh I just wanted to apologize because I didn’t help you. I’m… I’m sorry” he smiled. And when I saw his smile I forgot my anger. When ever Saad smiled I also smiled. I think that was always the only thing which made me smile.
“Well I’ll forgive you, but only if you replay the next time when I ask you something. Okay ?”. He looked at me and said “Okay. But please don’t think that I didn’t tell you where Mr Smith is just because you’re a freshman. It’s just… Usually girls don’t talk to me. Honestly I got exited when you came to me. That’s why I couldn’t reply” his cheeks got red and I knew it was awkward for him. “Well, there is nothing to be exited about when I talk to you” I smiled “I’m a little devil… You should be afraid of me and not exited” I laughed and he looked at me. He smiled and said “Oh okay. By the way my name is Saad“
“Nice to meet you Saad. I’m Kekem and I have to go now. See you next time” I smiled and packed my bag.
He smiled back and got up “See you next time little devil”…
“The omelet is great. I didn’t know you can cook” he was smiling.
I raised my left eyebrow and replied “Well, if you marry and if you have kinds you have to cook.
He swallowed and said quietly “Yeah true you were married”.
I grinned and asked “Jealous ?”.
“No there is no reason for me to be jealous. I’m happy for you” I knew he was lying. He always got jealous when I talked to other guys or when I just looked at them. I don’t mean the kind of jealousy where he wanted to punch everyone. He never wanted to admit that he’s jealous.
“You know my husband… you know he committed suicide” it was still hard for me to say.
“I know Kekem. And I know how hard it was for you”.
“Yeah. Could you please tell me why you’re here ?
He put away the fork and said “I’m here because I want to talk to you. I know you hate me and that’s ok but please let me explain why I’ve left you. Let me hug you. Let me kiss you” he looked down.
After a while I said “Okay, let’s talk Saad. Let’s talk and see what you have done to me 10 years ago” I raised my voice “Let me tell you what happened in the past 10 years, Saad. You don’t know what you have done to me. I’ve suffered so much and all this because of you”.
He looked at me and all he could say was “I’m sorry”.
“You’re sorry ? For what Saad ? You’ve left me even though I needed you ! I was always there for you when something happened and I always tried my best to be a good friend to you. And no I’m not saying that you haven’t done anything for me…” my voice got louder and I could feel that I was about to cry “You did more than enough. But you promised me something. You said you will always be here for me when I need you. No matter what. And now , after 10 years you come back. Why now ? Did you have pity with me because my husband committed suicide ? Did you come back because you know I’m alone with my two kids ? Tell me Saad ! Why now ?”
He couldn’t look at me. It took him exactly 53 seconds to answer. He whispered “I don’t know“ and that was the moment when I started to cry. I couldn’t stop and Saad hugged me. He hugged me very hard and I tried to push him away with all my strength but he was stronger than me.
He whipped my tears and kissed my cheeks. “Wow. The last time I kissed your cheeks was 10 years ago. I thought I’ll never see you and hug you again. That was my biggest fear. But now I hold you in my arms. I can touch you. I can feel your heartbeat. You don’t know how much I missed you. I swear you I prayed every night for you. You were always on my mind. I know I did the biggest mistake in my life. I know I’ve left you even though I said I’ll always be here for you. But I had to. I didn’t have another choice”…

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4 thoughts on “The Promise 2

  1. wow! your story is fantastic
    I loved every single thing about it.
    Good job and well done Kekem 👍
    @xmnsrx – instagram

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